Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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