I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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