don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
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we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
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i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux