Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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