New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
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