i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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