it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
someone owes me an orgasm
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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