Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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