i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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