She's like a pop up book from hell.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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