Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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