Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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