awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
