drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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