Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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