I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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