I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
