you guys were way drunker than both of me
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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