sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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