matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
