You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
