Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
