wakey wakey hands off snakey
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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