If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
