Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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