Screwed.edu
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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