Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
