The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Congratulations! We have a period
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