I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
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Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
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steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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