So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?