she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.