okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?