I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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