turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
