Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
