so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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