Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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