She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
