yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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