I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
