Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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