so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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