put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
