I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We had to coat check the pizza.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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