Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
