its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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