I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I wanna passion pit in your ass
please come you make the beer taste better
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
