Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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