if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
