if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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