he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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