i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
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I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
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That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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