That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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