The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
