This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
