Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
