just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
