I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
