I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
