U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My hand turned me down
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
