Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Two words: nipple clamps
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